A tenured male engineering faculty member matter-of-factly told me recently that “it’s easier for women in engineering because they get awards and things.” I have a few questions.
Is it easier for me when students, arriving late and upset I won’t accept their late work, yell at me in front of my entire class and refuse to let class proceed? Do you they yell at you?
Is it easier for me when students leaving anonymous teacher evaluations/reviews comment not on my competency but on my looks and personality? Or when they escalate it to overt commentary on my sexuality?
Is it easier for me when male colleagues repeatedly receive credit for work I’ve done, even after numerous reminders that I, in fact, did that work? And after giving those reminders, is it easier for me when colleagues respond not by addressing my concerns but by telling me I’m being too “aggressive” and “emotional”?
Is it easier for me when students physically intimidate me and disrupt my class, to the point that I have to call campus police and an associate dean to my classroom?
Is it easier for me when male colleagues assume that, when I get a job or an award, “they must have been looking for a woman”?
Is it easier for me when I hold students accountable, and they respond by telling me I should be “nicer” or “friendlier”? Do students expect the same of you? Or do my boobs magically create the expectation that I should acquiesce any time a student requests a higher grade on an assignment?
Is it easier for me when I’m asked to serve on more than my fair share of committees, urged to attend more than my fair share of student events, and expected to mentor more than my fair share of female students, because there needs to be female representation but there simply aren’t enough women in the faculty ranks? How much of my time is sacrificed to these additional commitments?
Is it easier for me when I have to consider whether to wear my hair up or down, how many buttons to do up on my polo shirt, and what shoes to wear, just to minimize the potential for students to see me as a sexual object rather than an expert in my field?
Is it easier for me when I look around at department faculty meetings, see 28 other people, and realize only two of those 28 are women? When I realize there are only two other people in that group who might possibly relate to the constant barrage of reminders that, obvious to you or not, I am treated differently by students and colleagues on a daily basis? Have you experienced that feeling of isolation at work?
Is it easier for me when, faced with ignorant and caustic comments from colleagues, I agonize over the decision of whether to 1) try to address the ignorance, costing time and much emotional energy or 2) save myself the immediate pain but let the pervasive ignorance continue?
Is it easier for me when I conclude that I must address the comments head-on, despite potential negative consequences, so that the women who come after me might be spared? So that my students can see at least one example of a strong female engineer before they graduate?
Is it easier for me to spend hours trying to think of a polite way to respond, only to end up with 700 words of raw emotion and streaks of dried tears on my face? This is easier? A day spent crying because it’s the only reaction I know for this mix of frustration, anger, and disappointment – that is easier?
Is it really easier for me, because of “awards and things”? If this is easier, I can’t imagine the hell you men in engineering must be going through.
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