It’s been about 3 months since I quit my job. In that time, I’ve essentially pushed a reset button for my life. I’m remembering all the little things that give me joy, accepting and embracing all of my many quirks, and letting go of external pressures and expectations. And I’m enjoying every bit of it.
I now have the space and the capacity to explore some of my numerous interests that I didn’t previously have the energy for. It’s not that I didn’t have the time – I’m naturally pretty efficient so that’s not usually a problem. The real issue was that my job left me tired, exhausted even. Not because it was too much work (by my standards it was nowhere close), but because being in one place for 8 or 9 hours a day just doesn’t work for me. It stifles my creativity and my natural sense of wonder, and I lose sight of what matters to me. That, in turn, directly contributes to my depression. I understand this now.
How I’ve spent the last 3 months
First, the things I’ve already mentioned on this blog: I’m teaching an engineering class at the University of Arizona, I’ve taught myself how to make a website, and I’ve started this blog. I interviewed for a job, got offered the job, and then didn’t end up doing that job.
But I’ve actually been doing SO MUCH MORE. Things that are more important than work or making money.
I’ve spent lots of time outdoors. I’ve spent lots of quality time with my cat. I’ve been reading. I’ve been exercising more. I’ve been reflecting. I’ve been writing. I’ve given myself the space I needed in order to be creative. I’ve had a lot of ideas, and started to follow through on those ideas. I’ve even started a business (which is a whole story of its own – more on that in a future blog post).
I’m getting healthier and I have a plan
It’s been an interesting and uplifting three months, with many ups and only a few downs, and I am happy to report that with every week, my depression is improving.
Improved mental health has resulted in improved clarity. I keep having these moments of profound insight. Each one is a bit of a surprise because the previous one seemed so conclusive that I didn’t expect to be able to build on it. But that shows me just how confused I had become. Any sense of clarity had become a novelty. No longer.
I now have short-term plan of sorts, which I’ll tell you about as soon as I figure out how to get it into words and on paper. And I’m really happy with the plan. I’m at ease, knowing that even though it’s inevitably going to change, I’m headed in the right direction.
Thanks for coming along with me 🙂
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